Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Just here for the Dick... of course!

I'm just here for the Dick


Funny ass article on Reductress, as a brewers wife... protem.

This hits the nail on the proverbial head!  Yes I like fucking beer, why do you think I got my boyfriend a job at a brewery.... and gave him a side culinary lessons thru-out our entire marriage.  I barely thought we would date when I looked in his bachelor pad cupboards... very skeptical if it would work... I'm not fond of Velveeta, I'm more cave aged farmstead ash cheese..with a side of morbier.

These young brew hustlers have no idea what real beer is, recipe development, grain sourcing... they just want that hip side pack, necklace of pretzels and want to talk about the latest con they went to.

Don't worry I'm just here for the dick....put's it mildly, just don't get to fucked up to be able to perform, or the cask conditioned male attention.  Oooh... you have a beard too!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Where in the Fack is my Vanilla Extract.... ??

Sometimes it just get's to you, and that is why I've resorted to blogging out my frustrations of being a brewers wife.... It's not just what you think it is, sure festivals and beer events are fun and filled with a great many drunk people but honestly how many times do you want to wake up covered in shitty pretzel pieces trying to piece together who stole your tap handles and who crashed out in your room that night.

Today it's my vanilla extract... it's gone, why does everything in your kitchen come out smelling like almonds, no it's not because I'm Scandinavian and grew up in "Alaska's Little Norway" it's because I can't keep it in the house... never-mind that it's a relatively new 32oz bottle I imported off the graciousness of friends and family who visit Mexico more often than I do... as you wouldn't dare catch me buying that cheap ass swill in the grocery store, not even for a batch of desperately needed school cookies...

I swear, the three P's are part of a brewers creed....